Inside a man's mind

1. I'm going fishing with the guys.
I'm going to get very drunk and then stand by a river with some weird stick in my hand.

2. Do you want me to help you with making dinner?
Why isn't my meal on the table aready?

3. Yes darling, of course sweetheart.
This doesn't really mean anything, it's genetically intergraded into the male brain.

4. It would take too long to explain it to you
I haven't the faintest idea about how this stuff works.

5. Rest for a minute darling, you're working too hard.
The vacuum cleaner is too loud for me to hear the TV.

6. That's so interesting honey.
You're still talking?

7. Oh you know how bad my memory is getting.
I can sing along to each and every Metallica song, I remember the phone number of the first girl I slept with as well as all the registration numbers on all the cars I've ever owned, but I forgot your birthday.

8. I was just thinking of you and got you these flowers.
The florist is hot!

9. I have my reasons for doing this!
And I'm hoping I'll figure some out soon.

10. What did I do now?
How much do you know?

11. I did hear what you said.
I don't have any idea about what you said and I'm hoping I'll be able to get away with it so you won't be mad at me for three days.

12. You know I could never love another woman!
I've gotten used to your bad temper and I know it could be a lot worse.

13. You look great in that!
...actually you look horrible, but I'm really hungry and I want to get to the restaurant before it closes!

14. No, I'm not lost, I know exactly where we are!
They'll never find us alive.

15. We divide the household chores.
I make a mess and you clean.