The Ultimate Calorie Counter

Everybody knows that sex provides very good exercise, but up until recently nobody had done any scientific research on just how many calories we burn under those circumstances. Now we have the results of the thorough research and they are as follows:

Taking off her clothes:
With her consent: 12 calories
Without her consent: 187 calories

Unhooking her bra:
With both hands: 8 calories
With one hand: 12 calories
With your teeth: 85 calories

Putting on a condom:
On an erect penis: 6 calories
On a non-erect penis: 315 calories

Foreplay:
Trying to locate the clitoris: 8 calories
Trying to locate the G-spot: 92 calories

Positions:
Missionary: 12 calories
69 lying down: 78 calories
69 standing: 112 calories
"The wheelbarrow": 216 calories
"Doggy style": 326 calories
Hanging from an Italian chandelier 912 calories

Orgasm:
Real: 112 calories
Fake: 315 calories

Post-orgasm:
Lying in bed hugging: 18 calories
Getting right back up: 36 calories
Explaining why you got right back up: 816 calories

Getting another erection shortly after sex:
20-29 years old: 36 calories
30-39 years old: 80 calories
40-49 years old: 124 calories
50-59 years old: 972 calories
60-69 years old: 2716 calories
70+ years old: No results available

Getting dressed after sex:
Slowly: 32 calories
Fast: 98 calories
With her father banging down the door: 1218 calories
With your wife banging down the door: 9659 calories

How will I die?

You scored as Natural Causes. Your death will be by natural causes, though not by any diseaese, because that is another option on this test. You will probably just silently pass away in the night from old age, and people you love won't realize until the next morning, when you are all purple and cold and icky. Natural Causes 73% Suicide 53% Eaten 47% Gunshot 47% Bomb 40% Posion 40% Disease 33% Cut Throat 27% Disappear 20% Accident 20% Stabbed 13% Drowning 13% Suffocated 7% How Will You Die??

Beerinduced sentimentality

I am so lucky to have such a perfect child, such a pretty (and nice and funny) younger sister, a wonderful pair of parents, some 4 other siblings who would most likely walk in front of traffic for me, and a six-pack of Viking Lite! Thanks to the world for matching me up with them!

(And no, I'm not undergoing cancer treatment)

Yes, I admit, I did have a couple of beers tonight - but it doesn't change the fact that I'm a very lucky (and at the moment happy) person! :D My sister came here today, so now I can have conversations with someone a bit closer to myself in age and character (not that my parents are bad conversationalistst or anything...), so I'm a little bit less lonely now than I was yesterday. I still haven't managed to get her hooked on Catan, but I'm sure I'll crack her soon enough! Muhahahahaha....

*Li|iana fades off to bed, not a moment too soon*

Only after the last tree has been cut down
Only after the last river has been poisoned
Only after the last fish has been cought
Only then will you find
that money cannot be eaten.

~Cree Indian Prophecy~

Old and rusted

Ok, so it's been a while since my last post. I'm going to blame that on the fact that I'm now back home. I say home (and not home) because I'm at my parents' place on the west coast of Iceland, in a tiny little place called Búðardalur. There are only about 300 people that live here, so it's a very nice little town. Well - I think it is. But then again, I grew up here and have special feelings for the place, so I'm perhaps not the best person to judge on it's niceness. I'm pretty sure that if anybody not native to this place were to pass judgement on it, (s)he would probably find it extremely boring. But there's just something about the way everything is so quiet here, and how you can actually sit outside for hours on end without ever seeing another person that is so great. At least it's a good change from the city life.
My parents have been enjoying my visit, I think they haven't quite gotten used to the "being alone"-thing. They have been raising children for over 40 years and just recently my youngest sister moved away from home, so having the place to themselves is a pretty new experience to them. I've been pampered with cakes and wonderful food (seriously beginning to think I'll be weighing twice as much as I did when I got here when I leave), letting me sleep in every day, doing my laundry and basically allowing me to sit on my behind all day, reading books and taking it easy. I actually don't know how good for me this is...

Anyway, I'm enjoying it while it lasts. Besides, isn't it kind of your parents' job to spoil you a bit when you've grown up and they don't get the chance to do it that much any more? I would think so. Now I'm just waiting to see if they've gotten me an easter egg! You see, the tradition here is to eat chocolate eggs at Easter, and naturally, the parents are the ones responsible for getting their children's blood sugar level to rise during this holiday. Well to be honest, the parents usually stop buying eggs for their kids when they start living on their own, and since I've been doing that since I was 15 I guess I can't really expect them to go buying me an egg... But I can still hope, can't I? I'm not asking for the biggest egg or anything! Just a little one!

So anyway, I went out for a walk today, the weather was so nice. The temperature was around 15°C, which is A LOT for this time of year. I enjoyed walking around my little town and taking pictures of cool things I saw along the way. One of the pictures was the one you see at the beginning of this post, it's my father's 1964 Chevrolet Impala. It has pretty much rusted through now, but it still has a very, very sentimental value to me. It has been parked in front of my house since before I can remember, and kind of just become a part of the view from the living room window. When I was little, I decided that when I grew up, I'd find myself a nice man who owned an auto-shop, he would fix the car and then we would use it when we got married. No silly bullsh*t about a prince on a white horse or anything, no!
The only qualification he should have was to be able to fix old cars! I can inform you that this dream of mine has changed somewhat - I no longer base my choice of men on their ability to fix cars, I even think I'm starting to lean more towards the "prince"-thing... In any case, I do think that my dream of riding in that car on my way to the church when I get married is slowly becoming a nightmare! The poor old thing will probably fall to pieces any day now, much to the despair of the multible mouse families that currently inhabit it. A cool picture of some rust can be seen here.

Anyway, it's getting late for me now, I guess I've talked about nothing for long enough now. So I'll just say good night, and thanks for (maybe) reading this.

*Li|iana over and out*

Bride from hell!

I sure wouldn't want to be the poor fellow saying "I do" to that mean ass lookin' psycho!

Tonight's orders

Dear children, be nice now tonight, I'm not gonna be in to watch over you, I'll be out dancing! So don't be doing anything stupid.

I am so sexy!

NICE!

Haha

The reason why cyclists wear black pants...
(click to enlarge - if you want to)

...and the reason why they don't

Oh dang...

Eric, my friend in Canada (the one I told you about before) wasn't quite happy enough about my apparent obsession with poutine. I tried to tell him that was just my twisted sense of humour at work, but that didn't really do much to cheer him up! ;) So I promised him that today I'd try and find something more interesting to say about his country... The only problem is that up until last November, my knowledge about Canada was so minimal, and I'm actually just beginning to learn something about it now - something I'm actually hoping my planned trip this summer will help.

But here are a few things I've come to know so far:

*It is the second largest country in the world (by surface area). Only Russia is bigger. Too bad I won't be able to see all of it this summer...
*The Canadian national anthem is called "Oh Canada" (extremely inventive, don't you think?). It's actually a very pretty song - and unlike the Icelandic anthem, it is in fact singable. They also share the British royal anthem (God save the Queen), of course, since Queen Elizabeth II is their formal head of state.
*Canadians are strangely fond of beavers... (the rodent!)
*Not all Canadians are lumberjacks or fur traders. Hehehe...
*Most of the Canadian population is English-speaking, but in some places, like in Quebec and New Brunswick, they like to speak French (very cool).
*Canadians seem to be a pretty peaceful bunch of people, at least it doesn't look like their favourite hobby is to go out and shoot some folks or engage in wars.
*Canada has one of the world's highest living standards, and the women there can expect to reach the age of 84 years, while the men die considerably younger, at 76. (Hmmm... the life expectancy of an Icelandic woman is 82 years and of an Icelandic man 78 years. So perhaps, since I'm an Icelandic woman, I should consider moving to Canada if i want to live longer?)
*They make delicious maple syrup. :D
...
I'm tired and sick now, can't think of anything more... but before I leave, I'd just like to take this opportunity to remind Eric that if he's not satisfied with my posts he *can* post comments! ;)

I found this test on Quicky's blog, it was an interesting one, especially since it told me that I'll live until I'm 92,6 years old, which I find pretty positive. I just hope I'll stay happy until then!

Blogblock

I guess I've been suffering from a blogblock lately, haven't really had anything interesting to say... but I got so tired of coming into my blog and constantly seeing the same post all the time, so I decided to suck it up and try to say something now.

So... I thought I'd tell you about the trip I'm planning this summer! Yep, The-Lil is going international! It'll be a trans-Atlantic trip, since I'll be visiting a sweet friend of mine (who I met in my new home) in Quebec, Canada. And seeing as how I live in this crap of an island where one airline has monopoly of the whole market, I'll probably have to take a few trips to the nearest street corner to pay for the fun...
Thing is, the ticket will cost me 1.541 USD (or 1.165 EUR, 804 GBP, 93.500 ISK, 1.898 CAD, 8.675 DKK, 9.583 NOK, 10.537 SEK, 1.805 CHF or 161.736 JPY - which ever currency you like thinking in), and for a regular Jane like myself that's a considerable amount of money... Anyway, I'm guessing I'll manage it somehow, so I've actually started looking forward to it :D I'll be going there on the 25th of June and returning back home to boring ol' Iceland on the 9th of July if things go according to plan.
So I'll have full two weeks of fun over there! The plan is to do all kinds of silly things, like eat something called "poutine", which has been described as a "heart-attack in a bowl"... Don't really know how that's gonna turn out, I've seen pictures of that stuff and it really only looks like something that somebody already ate and then got out of his system, rather than something that's ready to be eaten! But anyway, I think it'll be an interesting experience :D If you want to know more about that stuff you can read up on it here, here and here. ;)
Other than that, we really haven't planned much. There's a Jazz festival there that I'm really looking forward to checking out, some fireworks show or something like that and of course July 1st (Canada day). I have no doubts my friend will come up with plenty of fun stuff for us to do while I'm there. And who knows, perhaps I'll even learn a little French...?!